I often find myself wondering where I would be in my life today if I never got sick. What relationships would I have kept? What opportunities would I have been able to take advantage of? What would be different?
I found myself pretty upset over the past couple of days because I know that my life has taken the road less travelled, one with many bumps and pot holes and wrong turns.. With a couple of U-Turns thrown in just for fun.I know everyone encourages people to take this less travelled road, but sometimes you just want to be normal, you just want to blend into the background, be the paint on the wall, invisible .
I’ve had some family (Who I absolutely adore) come to visit for the May long weekend and this has brought back the feelings of being secluded from the normal population. Carrying around my pill case(a 18 year old carrying around this many pills ALWAYS draws attention), stumbling over my words, and having problems coping with my pain has brought this feeling of being the odd girl out back to the surface.
Having something that makes you stand out is something that we are encouraged to celebrate in today’s society, but I have found that theres always that little voice inside your head that wishes that you could just be the same as everyone else.
I know that I’ve only hit a bump on the road in the grand scheme of things, but it’s still a learning experience that I hope will give me some new insight to this hectic life of a chronically ill teenager.